Recognising the critical importance of Rites of Passage in lives of our teenagers – revisiting the start of the STEP journey.

ROP tee pee

Every traditional society in the world recognise they need to create a coming of age Rite of Passage ceremony.  Belgian anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined the term Rite of Passage(ROP) in the early 1900’s – community- created and community directed experiences that transmit cultural values and knowledge to an individual(s). The ROP process not only guide’s the individual’s transition to a new status, but, equally important, it created public events that celebrated the transition and reaffirmed these community values, which inform and guide expectations for behaviours essential to the groups survival. 

In February 2017, I attended an incredible Global Rites Of Passage Leadership Training  in the hills of Mullumbimby, NSW ( yup, the sunrise from that tee pee was  magical).   Led by the talented Dr Arne Rubenstein, I found it was the missing piece in a puzzle I had been working on in my desire to help connect youth and the Elderly. Applying the thinking around the stages of Rites of Passage gave me a critical framework to complete the design of the intergenerational story sharing program I was working on.

Whilst for thousands of years, Rites of Passage events may have involved the killing of a lion, or walking over hot coals to prove the move into manhood, what is crucial today (as we have moved on from needing to hunt for our food)  is the acknowledgment of social and moral maturing as a result of challenging encounters. I realised that for Teens today, this encounter could be entering an Aged Care environment and facing the ‘challenge‘ of an environment where there is no escape from the concepts such as ageing, immobility, dementia and even death.

In his TedX Talk below, Arne speaks of the concerning decline in life satisfaction graph that begins in the early teen years and troughs around age 16 that led him from practising as a GP to find out why ( watch his talk below if you want to know also!)

His subsequent study of ROP ceremonies around the world found that they always;

  • Involved story sharing, facing a challenge &  an acknowledgment of their ‘spirit’
  • Marked shift from ‘child’ psychology (” I am the centre of the universe. It’s all about me ! I don’t take responsibility ” ) to ‘healthy adult’ psychology
  • Led to a deep and profound sense of belonging in their community, they learnt the history of their community and knew they were part of something bigger than them.

TedX -2013 Arne Rubenstein

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When I saw this graph, I was as worried as Arne.

I developed STEP (Seniors and Teens Empathy Program) as one of the possible small solutions ( of many that will be needed in an wholistic approach to community mental health and wellbeing) to help halt that steep decline youth appear to be on,  a program that aims to nourish and develop the souls of adolescents on their path to find purpose and meaning through a vision of life that is bigger than self.

STEP launched as an initiative between Bupa Aged Care, Kids Giving Back and Heart & Soul Story on October 10, 2017 (World Mental Health Day) and has been running with teens and aged care residents ( albeit due to the chaos of COVID changing our worlds in 2020, now as a virtual program). You can read more about the thinking behind this initiative here Intergenerational Programs .

The development of purpose is intricately woven with the development of identity – the biggest problem growing up is not actually stress, it’s meaninglessness

Bill Damon, Stanford Lead Researcher Purpose & Adolescents

Using nature to show the important work we need to connect our young and old, share their stories and this be recognised by their community to ensure the ripple effect of the healing power of this story sharing is widened. This was an exercise I did as part of Dr Arne Rubenstein’s Rite of Passage Leadership training. It represented my wish to bridge the gap between young and old by bringing them together, the rocks on the side represented the challenges I thought I may come up against ( I didn’t know the half of it!) and the leaves in front represented the witness of the coming together of these two generations by their family and community, and the beneficial ripple effect this would have also on them.

What’s been happening at Heart and Soul Story?

On June 7th, Heart and Soul Story’s Founder, Samantha Heron, was invited to speak on intergenerational connection at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Sydney for Awesome Sauce, a special Vivid Sydney event with partners The Awesome Foundation and VibeWire.

Sam recounted stories of connection from STEP – the Seniors and Teens Empathy Program she has been running with The Bowen College Maroubra and Elders at Bupa Aged Care Maroubra.

In June, STEP kicked off a trial for students from International Grammar School and residents at Opal Aged Care in Annandale. Youth off the Streets The Bowen College have their spring program underway at Bupa Maroubra over August/ September. To keep posted on this program and more from Heart and Soul Story, follow along on instagram (by clicking on one of the pictures top right of this page).

The wonder of Bringing Community Back Together

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Just as each remarkable sunrise can touch us with a feeling of amazement and admiration, so too can the energy of being in a room of people with over half a century between them as they give thanks and recognition for time shared together.

The Recognition Gathering week of STEP (Senior and Teens Empathy Program) saw students from Youth off the Streets Bowen College show their gratitude to their Elders in front of their community of parents and teachers.

The students had worked on gifts of respect as diverse as booklets of images of their time spent together, interspersed with pictures from their Elder’s homeland … to the making of an intricate dream catcher.

The Elders too, passed on their words of gratitude and recognition in cards. Some offering simple advice for the future such as ” Don’t smoke” … others crafting words from the heart about the journey ahead that the Teens will be able to turn to for years to come.

One of many incredible outcomes from this 8-week program, is that one of the students who was so motivated by her weekly visits with her Elders, she has chosen to go on to do her work experience in the Aged Care home this term.

Who of us in our digitalized and remote lives has not wondered about our disappearing sense of connectedness — face to face, person to person and within a tribe? The more we find ourselves hitting “send,” “reply,” and “post,” the less connected we often feel and become … there is a growing longing to return to a sense of real community ”

Mike Bodkin, Executive Director, Rites of Passage Vision Quest

STEP was designed using a Rites of Passage framework  as a program that aims to nourish and develop the souls of adolescents on their path to find purpose and meaning through a vision of life that is bigger than self. Simultaneously, it gives purpose and meaning to our wonderful Elders to share their stories and their advice from their life journey.

A modern-day rite of passage is achieved when the community create experiences for youth which are perceived to be transformative and, in fact, offer them increased status within the community and facilitate their healthy transition through adolescence” Blumenkrantz, 1996

Heart and Soul Story is excited about the potential opportunity to work further with Youth off the Streets to implement STEP as part of their Service Learning curriculum for 2019.

 

 

 

“Our students are already showing empathy and are learning from experiences from the past”

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 10.19.02 am.pngWith one final week of our 8 weeks of STEP coming up next week, it was time to get some feedback from the @youthoffthestreets Bowen College School Manager on what she has enjoyed about the program…

“Watching the young people take the time and having patience with the Bupa residents …. seeing rapport building up more and more each session between the students and residents.”

” Our students are already showing empathy and are learning from experiences from the past.”

“We really value this program. It is worthwhile, community spirited and builds empathy.”

 Bringing community back together like this is as much about educating our young people’s hearts as well as their minds.

#seniorsandteensempathyprogram #intergenerationalprogram #intergenerationalprograms #stories4connection #youthoffthestreets #heartandsoulstory #bupaagedcare #bringingcommunitybacktogether

“Music gives a soul to the universe… and life to everything.” 

week 6 b

Around 2,500 years ago, Plato summed up the power of music up perfectly when he said

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything.”

The power of music to connect was seen is spades as laughter, tears and plenty of toe-tapping was shared by students and their Elder buddies during yesterday’s session of STEP (Senior and Teens Empathy Program).

A Spotify playlist of songs from yesteryear and today provided the perfect conversation starter and brought the generations closer as they teamed up in two groups for a ‘fierce’ competition to guess songs.

In a  2013 review of the research on music, Stefan Koelsch, music psychologist at the Freie University Berlin, described several mechanisms through which music impacts our ability to connect with one another—by impacting brain circuits involved in empathy, trust, and cooperation—perhaps explaining how it has survived in every culture of the world. ( Jill Suttie, Four ways Music Strengthens Social Bonds)

Music gives us an oxytocin boost … Oxytocin is a neuropeptide affiliated with breast-feeding and sexual contact, and is known to play an important role in increasing bonding and trust between people. Now researchers are discovering that music may affect oxytocin levels in the body.

Music is included as part of the design of STEP sessions as deliberate means of empathy building. The power of the love of music helping highlight another example of an equaliser between generations.

#seniorsandteensempathyprogram #intergenerationalprogram #YouthofftheStreets #BupaAgedCare#intergenerationalprograms #heartandsoulstory #stories4connection  #music4life #musicconnectspeople

 

“I don’t think she has heard a story like mine before… I knew I had a heart reaction”

 

So great to see both the students from Youth off the Streets and their Elders enjoying their time together so much during the STEP.

Unfortunately, last week the YOTS students had a clash of programs, so missed their visit to Bupa Maroubra … but no fear .. with the wonders of modern technology, the hip and happening septuagenarians and octogenarians ( phew that’s a mouthful) managed to record these lovely messages for their teen buddies.

John, born in Greece in 1933, is one of the residents at Bupa Maroubra participating in STEP (Seniors and Teens Empathy Program).  He is loving how polite and interesting and the teen he has been partnered with is.

” I like how intelligent she is, it’s very nice to talk to her and

I like the students learning about our lives”.

 John was asked what he’d rate the ‘life conversation’ sessions he’s had so far with the teens from 1 – 10 … he gave it a 10.5!

When Judy, aged 71, was asked what she is getting out of the Seniors and Teens Empathy Program thus far she replied

I don’t think she has heard a story like mine before… I didn’t want to see her cry, but I knew I had a heart reaction … I can touch someone else’s life”.

The students have described one of their favourite things about their sessions being that

 We get to see that they are very much just like us”. 

Everyone has a story that can touch another’s life in some way.

We just need to make the time and space to listen.

 

“We do not learn only from experience … we learn from reflecting on experience”

 

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“We do not learn only from experience … We learn from reflecting on experience.”
 
John Dewey was a philosopher, psychologist and educational reformer who believed humans learn through a “hands on” experiential approach.
 
In his thought-provoking article, Patrick Cole reminds us of five brilliant insights Dewey proposed over a century ago that are more than relevant today…
 
“Schools, according to Dewey, are not just places where we learn facts and numbers, but also places where we learn how to live.
 
In other words, the point is not just to learn a certain set of skills (though that helps as well) but rather to realize one’s full potential, and use what you’ve learned for the greater good.
 
How did we lose sight of this?”
 
 
#seniorsandteensempathyprogram #intergenerationalprograms #intergenerationalprogram #bringingcommunitybacktogether #stories4connection
 
🙏Jack Finnigan @jackofallstreets ( Unsplash for the wonderful pic)

STEP educating hearts as well as minds…

 


Youth off the Streets Bowen College students were back for more conversations and laughter at Bupa Aged Care Maroubra for Week 3 of STEP ( Seniors and Teens Empathy Program).

Students fed back that their first week last week together with the residents was  “exciting, fun, interesting and cool”, citing the top things they enjoyed ” hearing their stories” and “just hanging out together”

One of many highlight moments of Week 3 was when one of the students beckoned me over to say how cool it was that when she asked her buddy Elder one of the conversation starter questions

“Who is a person in history you admire most? ” she said the former female president of India ….. because she “made everyone look up to a woman”.

Not only are the residents teaching the students a thing or two about history and important role models  …. they are proving to be quite amazing role models in resilience themselves.

The Elders taking part from Bupa Maroubra are reporting back how wonderful it is to have the company of such “polite, lovely and very funny students”.

 

Generations apart brought “Together” at last through the power of stories

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I’ve written previously about how in Feb 2017 I attended a Rites Of Passage Leadership training that helped give me a great design structure for S.T.E.P ( Seniors and Teens Empathy Program) … well, while I was there, I also put together this simple little vision of my aim for the program to simply bring “Together” the young and old, their stories being the bridge that connects them.

I am so thrilled to report that today I finally got to introduce students from Maroubra’s Bowen College Youth off the Streets to some of the wonderful residents my own children and I have gotten to know over the past two years … yes, S.T.E.P has made it to Bupa Maroubra Junction! The TOGETHER I have been working towards for my own Maroubra community has lift-off.

I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about how it might go… Bupa Maroubra is a high care home and some students admitted when they arrived they were feeling a bit scared to be there –  it can be a confronting environment when you first walk in if you’ve never visited before…. but half an hour into it we had one student and  a resident speaking Greek together and others chatting about the old days when trams used to run to Coogee beach.

Once again, I’ve been blown away by being witness to the power that sharing stories has to connect the unlikeliest of people.  We all have our stories… and, though sometimes we may not know it, often, deep down, we all want to share them with someone.

 

 

 

 

 

STEP kicks off with Youth off the Streets Bowen College

 

A great introduction session yesterday with Youth Off the Streets Bowen College for their upcoming S.T.E.P ( Seniors and Teens Empathy Program) with Bupa Maroubra Aged Care.

Harvey & Eddie helped lighten things up by proving not all 84 plus-year-olds are what you’d imagine… it was good for a few laughs, watch their hilarious interview here
We also covered some of the more serious topics, often elephants in the room, like Dementia and… yes… even Death.
The students from Bowen College have their first meet up with their Elder buddies next week for a term long program of S.T.E.P that will involve games, activities and most importantly, sharing of their stories.
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Heart and Soul Story also ran an introduction session for residents taking part at Bupa Maroubra this afternoon, and they were equally interested to hear about the teens they will be meeting next week … they spent time reflecting on what life was like when they were and teen and talking about some of the challenges and opportunities teens have today.
All in all, a great day spent separately getting Teens and Seniors to look through each other’s eyes … but the real richness starts next week when they start their journey together.
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